


Me, Too

by LaMepriseFangirl



Series: The Aftermath of Michael [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Platonic Soulmates, Post-Arc: Alternate Michael (Supernatural: All Along the Watchtower) Possessing Dean Winchester, Post-Possession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-29 18:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17208518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaMepriseFangirl/pseuds/LaMepriseFangirl
Summary: A conversation Sam and Dean may never have on-screen, but probably should.(Set after 14x09)





	Me, Too

**Author's Note:**

> Look, this is about archangelic possession, but readers sensitive to topics relating to rape/post-rape trauma should proceed with caution.

January 23rd, 2019

Mom sends a text:

_Are you doing anything for Dean's birthday tomorrow?_

Sam is embarrassed in the privacy of his own room to have forgotten his brother's birthday. It's been glossed over so many years, they never expect anything from each other.

But this is special.

*

"Happy birthday," Sam says on the 24th, offering his brother a pie.

Dean grins as he accepts it, but the emptiness in his eyes that's been there ever since he ejected Michael is still there, and so is the feeling Sam has had in his gut that his brother is hiding something.

*

They watch a movie with Cas and Jack and do a fair amount of drinking.

Sam makes Jack go to bed around one, and Cas takes his leave soon after.

Then it's just the two of them in Sam's room, Dean seemingly reluctant to leave.

"Can't believe I actually made it to forty," he says, stretching out on the bed.

"I'm glad you did," Sam says quietly.

"I always thought I'd get dead by the time I was thirty, y'know?"

Dean receives a look of disapproval to remind him just how many times he did in fact die, and that he was possessed mere weeks ago.

He forces a smile, trying to be Dean about it, but it doesn't stick. He's reached a maudlin state. Sam sees his chance.

"Dean, talk to me," he pleads.

"About?"

"Anything."

The man takes a deep breath and lets it out, a look of defeat on his face.

"Okay... I thought I understood, or sort of understood, what you went through, being possessed."

Sam pretends not to feel the rush of tension in his body at the thought.

"But I didn't," Dean finishes.

"It's not something you ever really know how to talk about."

"I know, Sam. But... you're the only other guy out there who knows what it's like to be possessed by the archangel who thinks you're his custom-made meatsuit."

Sam draws in a sharp breath. He knew this was coming.

"I think- I think it's true, Sam," Dean says, "Chuck... God, I mean, made us for them. Michael and Lucifer."

"Why?"

"Because-" Dean is struggling to breathe and he shuts his eyes tight. "Because Michael- it wasn't just drowning."

Sam has to steel himself before responding:

"...I said yes to Lucifer thinking it would be like when Meg possessed me. It wasn't. I thought maybe it was because he was an angel, but after Gadreel... I knew."

"It's like everything that'd ever happened to me, everything I was at the second I decided to say yes, had been building me up to be the perfect vessel for him," Dean agrees. "And having him inside me, it felt like-"

He breaks off; he can't say it.

Sam has to summon all the strength and courage he has to finish for Dean, to get it out in the open:

"It felt like being around your brother, didn't it?"

Dean only nods, a tear rolling down his cheek.

Sam swallows hard before continuing:

"That feeling I get when I'm with you, saving people, or just- sometimes just in the car next to you. I've never had that with anyone else. Except when Lucifer was inside me."

He's nauseated to finally admit the secret he's hidden for nearly a decade. Even knowing Dean shares the shame, Sam can't help but feel the same old fear that this is a sign of innate evil, of irredeemable, intrinsic _bad_.

Dean gives his shoulder a squeeze, but remains silent.

"If you felt it, too," Sam reasons, "Then... you're probably right. We were made for them, so we can't help but feel that way. But it's not our fault. It doesn't mean we're wrong or that it's the only thing we were ever meant to do."

He looks straight ahead as his brother shuffles closer, the warmth of his body meeting Sam's. The physical comfort, the unspoken "it's okay" in response to something that's plagued Sam for years—his eyes fill with tears of relief.

Finally, Dean replies:

"You're not alone anymore, Sam."

"...And neither are you," he tells Dean.


End file.
